Published in partnership with MnFIRE partner, Optum

Take a moment and think about your male colleagues, friends and family members. When was the last time you asked one of them how they’re feeling and doing emotionally?

For many people, including firefighters, that conversation never happens for many potential reasons. Maybe you don’t think to ask. Maybe you assume you already know (“Dad never says much”). Or maybe you did ask and they responded with something along the lines of “I’m fine, thanks. How about you?”

Despite how far conversations around the importance of mental health and well-being have progressed, men are often held to a different emotional standard than women. In some settings, social and cultural norms often deem it OK for women to be emotional, while expecting men to be stoic and control their emotions.

How gender may make a difference

While stereotypes and stigma can be difficult for anyone, pressuring men to hide their emotions doesn’t make those feelings go away — it can actually make them worse. Suppressing emotions can increase stress and anxiety, and may contribute to depression, substance use disorder and other mental health challenges.

Another important factor is that mental and physical health are intertwined and support – or can worsen – one another. Stress and mental health concerns are often linked to medical conditions like heart disease, diabetes and respiratory problems, among others, making it hard to focus on other areas of your life or to feel like yourself.

Research has shown men are more likely than women to die by suicide, often linked to depression, substance use and anxiety.¹ Men also face higher death rates from chronic illnesses including heart disease and certain cancers.²

Men are also less likely to be diagnosed during regular checkups. This is partly because men are less likely to go for preventive care and partly due to clinicians’ tendency to underdiagnose or misdiagnose mental health concerns in men.

Promoting mental health awareness

It’s important to challenge the fire service’s culture of silence and encourage men to ask for help when they may need it, as emotional distress can affect daily life, work, relationships and overall well-being.

One way to help is to consider how mental health concerns might look like in men. While every individual’s experience is different, some common signs may include:

• Often quick-tempered, irritable or restless
• Escaping into work to avoid difficult feelings
• Taking bigger risks, such as reckless driving or unsafe sex
• Using alcohol, drugs or other substances more often
• Having headaches, digestive issues or other unexplained aches and pains
• Pulling away from family and friends, or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Talking more than usual about stress – whether it’s related to work, money, or something else
• Thinking about death or suicide

It’s natural to experience these feelings or behaviors from time to time, but when they persist, it’s often a sign someone could use support. Whether it’s a temporary challenge or long-term struggle, mental health concerns can be treated and managed to improve well-being.

Supporting the mental health of the men in your life is important. Encouraging them to practice everyday habits that foster balance and resilience can also make a difference. Depending on their interests and needs, self-care can take many forms. Here are some ideas to get started:

• Taking time to relax and do things they enjoy
• Expressing themselves through talking, writing, art or other outlets
• Spending time in or around nature
• Striving for work-life balance
• Living within their means and/or creating and following a plan to pay down debt
• Releasing tension through fitness, sports and mindful living practices, such as martial arts, yoga or breathwork
• Building strong friendships and staying connected to loved ones and positive people
• Regularly staying active, eating nutritious foods and getting quality sleep
• Practicing gratitude by focusing on the good in life, big and small
• Nurturing a sense of purpose and meaning

Seek support through MnFIRE

For all active Minnesota firefighters and their family members, MnFIRE provides no-cost mental health support through the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program. Call our 24-hour helpline (888-784-6634) to speak with a therapist or peer supporter.

Sources

1. International Association of Suicide Prevention (IASP). New WHO suicide data reaffirms urgent need for global prevention efforts. June 25, 2025.
2. Global Mental Health Action Network. Need2Know — men, mental health and non-communicable diseases. June 2025.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA. Men’s mental health. Accessed Aug. 8, 2025.

Association of American Medical Colleges. Men and mental health: What are we missing? April 2, 2024.

Cambridge Core. Gender matters: A critical piece in mental health | The Spanish Journal of Psychology. Nov. 10, 2024.

Cleveland Clinic. 11 tips for men and their mental health. May 23, 2024.

Counselling Directory. Stuck in stoicism: How bottled-up emotions can lead to anxiety. May 24, 2024.

Harvard Medical School. Half of world’s population will experience a mental health disorder. July 31, 2023.

Mental Health Foundation. Men and mental health. October 1, 2021.

Mental Health Foundation. Our best mental health tips — backed by research. Accessed Aug. 4, 2025.

Mental Health UK. Men’s mental health. Accessed Aug. 4, 2025.

Mind. UK hiding behind a ‘brave face.’ Feb. 1, 2024.

National Institute of Mental Health. Men and mental health. Accessed Aug. 4, 2025.

PMC. Males and mental health stigma. Aug. 19, 2020.

World Economic Forum. 5 ways to support men’s mental health and raise awareness. March 22, 2024.

World Health Organization. Suicide. March 25, 2025.

Published in partnership with MnFIRE partner, Optum

It’s important to check on your friends and family members who seem OK or even appear physically and emotionally strong, including the firefighters in your life. In many cases, it’s easy to recognize when a friend is going through a tough time — maybe they recently broke up with a longtime partner, lost a job or have been battling a health concern. But in other cases, it’s not so clear when someone we care about needs emotional support.

Recognizing emotional distress

Many people live with situational or chronic depression and anxiety, among other mental health conditions. Most go untreated for a variety of reasons, including not realizing they need help, fearing unfavorable judgement or treatment, or simply seeing help as a sign of weakness. In many cases, there may be signs you can notice, such as:

• Changes in behavior, like withdrawing from or avoiding family and friends or activities they like, sleeping more, being less productive, increased use of alcohol and other substances or decreased sex drive.
• Changes in appearance, such as skipping bathing and grooming, looking tired or sad, noting physical pain, or gaining or losing a lot of weight.
• Changes in mood, like worrying and stressing out more, overreacting to situations, getting agitated, aggressive or angry or feeling sad and hopeless or showing no emotion.
• Changes in communication, such as posting dark or cryptic social media messages, criticizing themselves often, talking about physical pain or not feeling well or talking about hurting themselves.

However, some people who are in emotional pain don’t show any outward signs or symptoms. They may even appear high-achieving, cheerful, carefree and productive. If emotional distress isn’t addressed, an individual’s symptoms could worsen and eventually seriously impact their overall health and well-being, quality of life and life itself. Among other complications, untreated emotional distress can lead to:

• Depression, anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses
• Alcohol and substance use
• Physical health problems, such as weakened immune system and heart disease
• Self-harm and suicide

Feeling connected to others and having a sense of belonging are important ingredients for mental health and well-being. While you can’t make anyone share or fix their situation, showing genuine care and concern can make a difference in the moment and over their long-term recovery. If nothing else, they’ll know you care, which can provide comfort.

Tips for checking in

Commit to doing it: You may feel like you’re prying, overstepping or overreacting, or that your friend would come to you if they needed help. But you’re not, and they might not. All you can do is ask and be ready to show support.

Use a method that suits your friend: For some people, it’s easier to have a meaningful conversation in person, whereas others are more likely to open up over the phone, via email or through text. Choose the one that seems best for your loved one. If you’re unsure, ask.

Find a good time: Depending on the situation, they may have more or less free time or willingness to get together. Work around it. Ask them a good time to catch up whether by phone or in person and then schedule it.

Ask open-ended questions: Sometimes, simple questions — “How are you doing?” “What’s on your mind?” “How’s work been going?” — create the opening someone needs to share what they’re going through.

Offer examples if you are concerned. A check-in can be random, or it can be purposeful. If you think your friend is going through something difficult and noticing them exhibiting potential warning signs, gently offer them examples of what concerns you. For example:

• “I noticed you let your gym membership lapse. You love to work out. Are you OK? Is something going on?”
• “I wanted to check in with you because you seem sad and down on yourself lately, like when you said that you mess up everything and the world would be better off without you. How are you doing?”

Listen with an open mind. Let them talk. Do your best not to offer unsolicited advice, share your perspective or diagnose them. Be careful not to minimize, dismiss or explain away what they’re saying, and also be careful not to judge them, their family, friends or co-workers. Life can be messy, times can be tough and people can be disappointing. But none of those are your call to make. You’re there to offer support.

Connect them to resources. If you know of specialized support they could tap into — such as a mental health professional through MnFIRE, legal counselor, recovery center or advocacy organization — refer them.

Respect and set boundaries. If a co-worker or loved one doesn’t want to talk, that’s their decision. Let them know you are there if they change their mind.

Offer to help them. Think of ways you could support someone safely. For example, volunteer to babysit their children for an hour or two, drop off some groceries, research resources, or be available if they need to talk.

Follow up. It’s best to check in regularly with your loved ones and especially those who may be struggling at different times. Don’t assume they’ll reach out to you. People in hard times tend to withdraw and isolate themselves. And by checking in more, even during perceived good times, you can build trust and nurture your connection.

MnFIRE has your back

We encourage Minnesota firefighters and their family members to utilize no-cost confidential mental health resources through MnFIRE and the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program. Our helpline (888-784-6634) is available 24-hours a day – select option 1 for counseling visits and option 2 for peer support.

Sources

Ami Quebec, “Smiling Depression: An In-Depth.” Published Spring 2022.

Canadian Mental Health Association, “How to check in on a friend – the right way.” Accessed June 10, 2024.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Social Connection.” Published March 27, 2024.

Cleveland Clinic, “The Truth About High-Functioning Depression.” Published May 17, 2024.

Hope for the Day, “Educational Material.” Accessed June 10, 2024.

Mayo Clinic, “Mental illness – Symptoms and causes.”

NAMI, “Five Warning Signs of Mental Illness that People Miss.” Published May 3, 2021.

The Jed Foundation, “Signs that a friend may be struggling.” Accessed June 10, 2024.

By Rochelle Hawthorne, MPNA, MS, LPC, FF/EMT-P, MnFIRE Peer Support Program Director

Sometimes when you are having a tough day, it’s nice to talk about what’s troubling you with someone who innately understands your perspective. It can be especially helpful when you are carrying the unique stresses that come with being part of the fire service.

MnFIRE’s Peer Support Team is comprised of fellow Minnesota fire service community members who are available to lend a listening ear and offer support to those who may be struggling at the fire station, on calls, at home and beyond. It’s completely confidential, an unlimited resource and available 24/7 – on the days when you feel like you’ve reached your limit, and any other time.

Here are some of the key benefits when utilizing peer support:

Mental health and emotional well-being 

• Early intervention: Sometimes firefighters are more likely to open up to peers than external professionals, allowing earlier detection of mental health issues like PTSD/PTSI, depression, or anxiety.
• Reduced stigma: Talking with peers can normalize mental health struggles, helping to dismantle the “tough it out” culture.
• Improved coping mechanisms: Peers can share practical tools and experiences for managing stress and trauma.

Increased trust and camaraderie 

• Shared experiences: Support may be best coming from someone who has “been there,” which builds credibility and deepens trust.
• Team cohesion: Encouraging open dialogue improves unit morale, cooperation and interpersonal relationships.

Resilience building 

• Stronger stress management: Ongoing support increases emotional resilience, helping firefighters bounce back from difficult calls or prolonged stress.
• Prevention of burnout: Regular peer check-ins can reduce the emotional toll that leads to fatigue or job dissatisfaction.

Crisis response and recovery 

• Support after critical incidents: Peer teams can assist in debriefings or defusings following traumatic events, helping reduce long-term psychological harm.
• Suicide prevention: By identifying warning signs and offering immediate peer-level help, these programs can be lifesaving.

Enhanced organizational culture 

• Promotes a culture of care: When leadership supports peer programs, it signals that firefighter wellness is a priority.
• Reduces absenteeism and turnover: Healthier firefighters are more likely to stay in the job and maintain consistent performance.

Accessibility and continuity 

• Available anytime: Peer supporters can be embedded within shifts or departments or can be confidentially reached by a simple phone call, providing immediate and ongoing support.
• Bridge to professional help: Peer teams can refer individuals to clinicians when needed, ensuring a continuum of care.

The MnFIRE Peer Support Program matches firefighters and family members with trained peer supporters who have a similar background – from rank to size and type of department– and know firsthand the stressors firefighters face, both on and off the job. To access MnFIRE Peer Support, contact 888-784-6634 at any time and select option 2.

Published in partnership with MnFIRE partner, Optum

When it comes to mental health concerns, many people, including firefighters, can be reluctant to ask for support. Sometimes, it’s because they don’t realize they need help – or if they do, they’re unsure where to turn.

But oftentimes, long-held beliefs and stigma around mental health keep people from seeking support. Many people throughout the world are taught misinformation about mental health concerns, such as it goes away with time, it’s a private matter to keep within a family or previous generations had it harder so it’s unacceptable to complain.

You may have heard some of these perspectives from your family, community, culture, religion or fire service leaders, but they aren’t based in fact. Beliefs like these can cause real harm and make it harder for people to seek support or care for their mental health. Understanding where these messages come from – and challenging them – can help reduce stigma and create space for more open, supportive conversations.

Understanding mental health

Your mental health includes your emotional, psychological and social well-being. It affects how you think, feel and behave. When you feel mentally well, you are better equipped to get through tough times, manage stress, relate to others and make decisions in your best interest.

Mental health conditions are medical conditions that can arise from a mix of biological, psychological and social factors. Some people are born with a mental health condition. Some are predisposed to develop them. Some develop them from life experiences (like hormonal changes during puberty, pregnancy or aging), chronic stress and traumatic events. And some people experience situational mental health concerns as result of a difficult life event, such as a divorce, job loss or death of a loved one.

With the right support and resources, many people get through tough times, learn to manage chronic conditions and build resilience for the future. The more comfortable people become talking about mental health and sharing their support, the easier it is to ask for help and take steps to nurture their mental well-being.

Supporting mental health and well-being

Practicing self-care. Whatever life brings, it’s important to take care of your mental health and well-being – even if things are going well. Self-care practices like eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, being physically active and managing stress all contribute to your overall health and well-being. It helps when others in your household are also practicing healthy habits.

Recognizing when someone is struggling. People can be very good at hiding how they’re feeling and what they’re going through. But oftentimes, there are signs if they’re struggling. These include noticeable changes in behavior, appearance, mood or communication. For example, if a family member shows more irritability or anger, stops showing up to family dinner, gains or loses a lot of weight, stops grooming or begins talking about physical pains or sharing negative views or social posts, there may be more going on inside.

Checking in. It’s always a good idea to check in with loved ones. Sometimes, simple questions – “How are you doing?” “What’s on your mind?” “How’s work been going?” – create the opening someone needs to share what they’re going through.

In some cases, a less direct approach may work better. For example, if your uncle has withdrawn from the family and when you visit mentions physical pain or discomfort, that could be a sign of something else. Consider ways to start a conversation about mental health without saying it directly, such as: How are you feeling?” or “You mention you frequently have headaches – what do you think is causing them?”

Let them share. Then listen with an open mind. As you let them talk, stop yourself from offering advice or guessing at their problem. When they finish, offer to help them find support. This could involve spending more time with them, connecting them to resources or medical support, depending on their personality and situation.

Share your own experiences. Giving and receiving support is a natural part of caring for someone. Sharing your own experiences in these terms can help others feel more at ease and open to conversations about mental health. It can also be helpful to compare mental health to physical health – if you had a broken leg, would you just hope it heals on its own or seek treatment? Since it’s different for everyone, emotional pain is best addressed with care and consideration.

MnFIRE is here to help

The Minnesota Firefighter Initiative (MnFIRE) provides confidential mental health resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program to help you prioritize and protect your health. Our helpline is available 24-hours a day at 888-784-6634 for all active Minnesota firefighters and their families – select option 1 for no-cost counseling visits and option 2 for peer support.

Sources

UNICEF. Busted: 7 myths about mental health.

American Psychiatric Association. Myths and facts about mental health. March 5, 2025.

HealthHub. Busting the myths of mental illness. Nov. 15, 2022.

HelpGuide.org. Racism and mental health. Jan. 16, 2025.

Mental Health America. BIPOC mental health myth-busting. Accessed April 18, 2025.

Mental Health America. Breaking down mental health stigma in BIPOC communities. Accessed April 18, 2025.

Mental Health Commission of Canada. Fact sheet: Common mental health myths and misconceptions. April 28, 2023.

Optum Well-being. Even your strong friends might need support. 2024.

Contributed by MnFIRE partner, Optum

Practicing mindful living is a great way to support your mental health and well-being. By helping you be present in the moment, mindfulness can help you feel calmer and more joyful. That’s because when you focus on the here and now, you’re less likely to stress out about the past or future. It’s also because mindfulness helps you manage your emotions as they come and go with more acceptance.

Here are a few of the many ways to add mindfulness into your daily life.

Set an intention each day

When you wake up, think about how you want to show up that day. Do you want to be kinder to yourself, more assertive in advocating for yourself, quieter, or something else? Your intention can be whatever gives you a sense of awareness and acceptance for someone (including yourself) or something. And it can be different every day. It’s all up to you.

Pause throughout the day to take in the moment

Much of our day-to-day living runs on autopilot. We get up, use the bathroom, eat breakfast, go to work, greet the same people as we pass by and so on. Instead of moving through your day on autopilot, check in from time to time and remind yourself to be present. For instance, if you sit down at a desk every day, pause and think about how your body feels. Are you well-rested? Are your shoulders relaxed? When you eat breakfast, pause with each bite. Think about the texture and taste. What do you notice? How does the food make you feel? Also, consider how these little mental breaks feel. Does it help you to slow down and enjoy yourself more in the moment?

Move your body intently

You already know the importance of staying active. To sprinkle in some mindfulness, define a purpose beyond the physical and mental health benefits you’re already going for. For example, consider how to improve the connection between your mind and body, such as by honing a skill, achieving a new benchmark or applying breathing techniques to your preferred program.

You could also choose to take up a mindfulness movement practice, such as tai chi, meditation or yoga. By design, these connect your mind and body and encourage you to be present in the moment.

Notice your emotions

It’s natural to go through a variety of feelings throughout the day. It’s less automatic to check in with yourself and take stock of your emotions. Throughout the day, pause and think about how you feel in that given moment and why. By doing this, you can slow down and genuinely appreciate and enjoy the good things in your life, however small. It also may help you uncover patterns and better understand triggers, so you can gain perspective and make adjustments where beneficial and possible. Both can help you feel more optimistic and build your resilience, making it easier to bounce back from tough times and thoroughly enjoy the good ones.

Make a commitment to yourself

Take time each day to do something that will help you be more present and aware of your life and times. Beyond the above ideas, there are infinite ways to do so.

No-cost mental health support

For personalized emotional and mental health support, MnFIRE provides no-cost, confidential resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program – including counseling visits and peer support – to Minnesota firefighters and their families. Call 888-784-6634 to learn more and get help.

Sources

Helpguide.org, Benefits of Mindfulness. January 16, 2025.

Mindful, 5 Simple Mindfulness Practices for Daily Life. October 14, 2024.

NHS, What is mindfulness? – Mental wellbeing tips – Every Mind Matters.

We Think Twice, 8 Healthy Habits for a Mindful Life. Accessed February 19, 2025.

Contributed by MnFIRE partner, Optum

Most of us are aware of how “triggers” can bring negative emotions and feelings inside us. But do you know what your “glimmers” are? That is, the fleeting moments that give you a sense of calm, peace and joy?

Both manifest physically in your body and affect your mental well-being.

Triggers send a warning of a potential danger to your nervous system. Depending on the threat, you may react with an urge to fight the danger, flee from it, freeze in the face of it or do something to pacify it. This reaction is commonly referred to as the fight, flight, freeze and fawn response. During these times, you feel heightened emotional and physical stress. Too much stress can lead to mental and physical health concerns, such as depression, anxiety, digestive issues and heart problems.

On the other hand, glimmers signal your parasympathetic nervous system, giving you a feeling of safety, calm and connection. When you feel good, your parasympathetic nervous system turns on and tells your nervous system to calm down. So, instead of fight, flight, freeze or fawn, you experience calm, peace and happiness. Glimmers can be anything from the smell and taste of your favorite comfort food, to the sound of your best friend’s laughter, watching squirrels play, the feel of your cool pillow after you flip it over, or whatever else gives you a sense of joy.

Catching glimmers

We are naturally wired to be aware of danger, especially in the fire service. It’s part of our safety defense mechanism and survival instinct. But we can train ourselves to look for these natural “glimmer” stress reducers that give us joy and comfort. While these moments may be brief, they add up. When you practice savoring them, you build up a reservoir of calm and hope that helps steady your nerves in stressful times.

• Think about what gives you a sense of joy, calm or helps you relax, so you are prepared to recognize the glimmers you experience.
• Many of us spend time thinking about the past or planning the future. Practice being present in the moment, so you are aware when a glimmer happens.
• When you spot a glimmer, relish the sensations you feel, knowing it will likely pass quickly.
• Each day, take time to reflect on the glimmers you encountered. Consider capturing them in a glimmer journal for future reference.
• Swap glimmer stories with someone you care about to build your bond.

No-cost mental health support

For personalized emotional and mental health support, MnFIRE provides confidential resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program (HHAP)  – including counseling visits and peer support – to Minnesota firefighters and their families. These MnFIRE program services target the unique needs of fire service members and are available at no cost. Call 888-784-6634 or click here to learn more and get help.

Sources

Australian Medical Association. Glimmers for mental health. Aug. 19, 2023.

Calm. Glimmers: What they are, why they matter, and 5 ways to find them. Accessed Oct. 18, 2024.

Neurodiversity Education Academy. Know your glimmers. March 26, 2023.

World Experience Organization. The power of glimmers: Designing for psychological safety. Accessed Oct. 18, 2024.