Published in partnership with MnFIRE partner, Optum

If someone asked you to describe the person you know best, who would it be? Could you easily outline their core values, strengths, dreams and fears? Could you explain what motivates them and why?

Many of us would think of a loved one or close friend. But how many of us know ourselves as well as we think we know others?

Self-discovery is essential to personal growth and mental well-being. When we fully understand ourselves, we feel better about ourselves. We can more easily get through life’s challenges and more readily take steps to grow into better versions of ourselves. Knowing ourselves also helps us be more compassionate and in tune with other people.

Let’s look at how this works and why it’s true.

Who are you?

A combination of factors shapes your self-identity, which is how you see yourself. These include your personality, abilities, appearance, interests, culture and more. It also includes the role you play in your close relationships and the larger community. When you feel uncertain about who you are, it can sometimes lead you to do things you don’t want to do or that aren’t in your best interest. It can also make it harder to appreciate your own value, purpose and potential.

In addition, if, like many people, you were raised to think, believe and act in certain ways, you might be going through life on autopilot, without questioning things. But asking yourself questions can help you clarify who you are and why you do what you do. These questions might confirm what you are already doing or lead you to make different decisions and plans for yourself.

By exploring your thoughts, feelings and values, you can better understand who you are, what matters most to you and why. This, in turn, can help you make better choices for yourself and for others. It can also help you see yourself and your actions more clearly, including from other perspectives.

Getting to know yourself takes time, patience and continued effort. It also takes being willing to see and tell yourself the truth.

Be honest with yourself

It’s important to consider your own perceptions and potential biases that shape how you think, feel and act. It’s natural to feel more comfortable with people who are most like you, to favor information that supports your existing beliefs and to hold onto assumptions. But just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it always serves you or others.

Getting to know ourselves includes uncovering the parts of us that may be uncomfortable to acknowledge. Once we know, we can work on changing the aspects that aren’t helpful or kind. We can also learn to accept ourselves as works in progress.

For example, research shows people have a tendency to overestimate their abilities, particularly when they’re not especially strong at something. On the other hand, people who do excel at something tend to underestimate their ability. The reality is, every person has strengths and weaknesses, and opportunities for continuous improvement. So, you may need to figure out if you tend to give yourself too much or too little credit.

There are many ways to uncover the difference, including looking back at some of your past successes and challenges, and reviewing them with a more balanced perspective. For instance, you might remember a teacher from your past as being especially hard on you and giving you low marks. But looking back more objectively, you realize you often turned in assignments late, asked for exceptions, or didn’t ask for help to better understand the assignment.

Ask for feedback

Another approach is to ask people you trust for feedback. You could ask them to share qualities they admire in you, as well as areas they think you might consider improving. You could also ask them for their take on experiences you remember strongly or have strong feelings about. For example, you might ask your sister how she remembers the argument you recently had with your parents. She may offer insights into the situation you didn’t consider or don’t remember, which could help you understand the impact of your own actions differently. And you might realize that these actions reflect patterns of behaviors that have influenced your relationships.

At the same time, it’s important to recognize that people are often reluctant to share feedback that could be seen as critical. Research suggests most people — whether close family, friends, managers or coworkers — are more likely to offer praise than suggestions for improvement. So, it’s a good idea to consider what they may not be saying, too, and to ask some follow-up questions.

Unpack your history

A key part of self-discovery can be understanding the past. Each of us has unique experiences that shape our thoughts, behaviors and perspectives. In some cases, these past experiences influence the internal voice that guides how we see ourselves and make decisions. Recognizing where that voice comes from and what shapes it can lead to understanding yourself better.

Understanding your past can also be helpful if you feel stuck. Challenges you face today may be connected to earlier experiences. Exploring what happened, how those experiences made you feel and how you reacted may bring insights to your present-day self and help you move forward.

Trying new experiences and meeting new people can help you see yourself and be treated in new ways. It may reinforce some of what you already know to be true about yourself, too. Along the way, you may learn something unexpected and delightful about yourself, interests and goals.

What to expect

The more we understand ourselves, the more self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-worth we gain. These qualities help us be kinder and gentler with ourselves, and more open to pursuing self-improvement. They also allow us to show greater compassion toward others, by helping us understand and remember everyone is on their own journey.

No-cost mental health support

Minnesota firefighters and their families can access no-cost confidential mental health resources through MnFIRE and the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program, including counseling visits and peer support. Call 888-784-6634 or click here to learn more and get help.

Sources

The British Psychological Society. How well do you know yourself? October 13, 2020.

Calm. How do I get to know myself better? 8 ways to find the true you. Accessed March 12, 2025.

Headspace. Strong identity | Take a step. Accessed March 12, 2025.

Health Assured. How to build a healthy self-identity. May 20, 2022.

Monash University. Building a powerful self-identity: Why it matters for adolescents. March 1, 2023.

Phoenix Rising Centers. 7 powerful self-discovery practices for better mental health. Accessed March 12, 2025.

PsychAlive. Finding yourself: A guide to finding your true self. Accessed March 12, 2025.

Queen’s University Belfast. The importance of self-discovery. Accessed March 12, 2025.

Responding to high-stress emergencies on a regular basis can take a toll on firefighters, especially over the course of a career. Research from the International Association of Firefighters (IAFF) shows approximately 20% of firefighters struggle with a post-traumatic stress injury (PTSI) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at some point during their careers. This is notably higher than the 6.8% risk for the general population during their lifetime.

What is PTSI?

PTSI is a mental injury that can occur after someone is involved in a traumatic event. There is a movement to use the term PTSI as opposed to PTSD, to better emphasize the condition as a recoverable “injury” as opposed to a chronic disorder. Those experiencing PTSI may experience symptoms such as:

• Intrusive memories/flashbacks: Many people experiencing PTSI relive the traumatic event(s) through memories, flashbacks, nightmares and upsetting thoughts.
• Avoidance behaviors: Those struggling may avoid certain places, activities and even people, potentially disrupting their normal daily functioning.
• Increased irritability: They may also have frequent mood swings, anger, aggression, heightened sensitivity and other out-of-character behaviors.
• Negative self-image or outlook: They might have distorted beliefs about oneself, others and the world, feelings of detachment and guilt, or lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities.
• Poor sleep habits: They may struggle with a regular sleep routine and find themselves waking often or sleeping too much.
• Substance abuse: There’s often a strong link between PTSI and substance abuse since turning to alcohol or other substances can help mask negative feelings and pain. The IAFF found 27% of firefighters admitted to substance abuse related to their job.

Asking for help

A longtime Minneapolis firefighter who was part of the crew who responded to the George Floyd emergency call and other countless tragic situations, started to struggle with her mental health and found herself at a breaking point in 2022. She started to miss shifts, drink heavily and panic while on the scene at fires and crisis situations.

Desperate, she told her captain she wasn’t doing well at work or by herself at home. Not sure what to do, she fortunately received a referral to MnFIRE from another firefighter. Connecting with a peer supporter was a step in the right direction for her. Today, she credits MnFIRE with saving her career and well-being, as she’s continued professional therapy sessions and used other resources to strengthen her resilience.

Trusted source in MnFIRE

It’s important for all first responders to have a healthy outlet to release their mental and emotional struggles. Counseling can offer professional support by giving you tools to manage and relieve mental and emotional symptoms. Peer support is another great option for having a trusted person you can talk to and relate to with your story.

As a Minnesota firefighter or family member, you have a support team behind you. The MnFIRE helpline is staffed by experienced clinicians. From one-on-one calls to department debriefs, during the middle of a crisis or after a tough call, we are here for you. Don’t hesitate to use this no-cost, confidential resource available 24/7 to all firefighters and their families in Minnesota. Just call 888-784-6634 and select option 1 for immediate help and more information.

Through the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program, all active firefighters are also enrolled in a Critical Illness insurance policy, which covers diagnoses of critical illnesses, including post-traumatic stress injury and disorder (PTSI/PTSD). Those who receive a qualifying diagnosis are eligible to receive a cash payment to help manage expenses your health insurance might not cover. To file a claim, call 888-784-6634 and select option 3.

We’re ready to help when help is needed.

Contributed by MnFIRE partner, Optum

Practicing mindful living is a great way to support your mental health and well-being. By helping you be present in the moment, mindfulness can help you feel calmer and more joyful. That’s because when you focus on the here and now, you’re less likely to stress out about the past or future. It’s also because mindfulness helps you manage your emotions as they come and go with more acceptance.

Here are a few of the many ways to add mindfulness into your daily life.

Set an intention each day

When you wake up, think about how you want to show up that day. Do you want to be kinder to yourself, more assertive in advocating for yourself, quieter, or something else? Your intention can be whatever gives you a sense of awareness and acceptance for someone (including yourself) or something. And it can be different every day. It’s all up to you.

Pause throughout the day to take in the moment

Much of our day-to-day living runs on autopilot. We get up, use the bathroom, eat breakfast, go to work, greet the same people as we pass by and so on. Instead of moving through your day on autopilot, check in from time to time and remind yourself to be present. For instance, if you sit down at a desk every day, pause and think about how your body feels. Are you well-rested? Are your shoulders relaxed? When you eat breakfast, pause with each bite. Think about the texture and taste. What do you notice? How does the food make you feel? Also, consider how these little mental breaks feel. Does it help you to slow down and enjoy yourself more in the moment?

Move your body intently

You already know the importance of staying active. To sprinkle in some mindfulness, define a purpose beyond the physical and mental health benefits you’re already going for. For example, consider how to improve the connection between your mind and body, such as by honing a skill, achieving a new benchmark or applying breathing techniques to your preferred program.

You could also choose to take up a mindfulness movement practice, such as tai chi, meditation or yoga. By design, these connect your mind and body and encourage you to be present in the moment.

Notice your emotions

It’s natural to go through a variety of feelings throughout the day. It’s less automatic to check in with yourself and take stock of your emotions. Throughout the day, pause and think about how you feel in that given moment and why. By doing this, you can slow down and genuinely appreciate and enjoy the good things in your life, however small. It also may help you uncover patterns and better understand triggers, so you can gain perspective and make adjustments where beneficial and possible. Both can help you feel more optimistic and build your resilience, making it easier to bounce back from tough times and thoroughly enjoy the good ones.

Make a commitment to yourself

Take time each day to do something that will help you be more present and aware of your life and times. Beyond the above ideas, there are infinite ways to do so.

No-cost mental health support

For personalized emotional and mental health support, MnFIRE provides no-cost, confidential resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program – including counseling visits and peer support – to Minnesota firefighters and their families. Call 888-784-6634 to learn more and get help.

Sources

Helpguide.org, Benefits of Mindfulness. January 16, 2025.

Mindful, 5 Simple Mindfulness Practices for Daily Life. October 14, 2024.

NHS, What is mindfulness? – Mental wellbeing tips – Every Mind Matters.

We Think Twice, 8 Healthy Habits for a Mindful Life. Accessed February 19, 2025.

Published in partnership with MnFIRE partner, Optum

Firefighters operate in high-pressure environments where every decision counts. With human lives often at risk, including their own, a single mistake can have devastating consequences. This constant pressure, along with the physical toll of the job, contributes to a substantial amount of stress for firefighters.

While many things are often beyond our control, we do have the power to manage some sources of stress. Consider trying these stress-busting strategies to ease tension, quiet your mind and find calm.

1. Move — Physical activity can serve as a stress reliever. Your body releases chemicals that make you feel good, and the increase in oxygen and blood flow can boost your energy level. Even a 5-minute walk or stretch can make a difference and take our mind off pressing issues.
2. Simplify — When your day feels overwhelming, take stock of your to-dos. Focus on what must be done, delegate what you can, and let go of what isn’t necessary.
3. Resist — Avoid foods and drinks that might negatively impact your mood. For example, if you know another cup of coffee is going to make you feel anxious and jittery, skip it.
4. Engage — In tough times, remind yourself how much better you might feel with support or a friendly distraction. Spend time with a friend who makes you laugh, volunteer at a shelter for some “pet therapy,” or do something else that helps you feel connected.
5. Plan — Routines can be comforting, so develop and stick to ones that work for you and your loved ones. For example, try prepping meals and outfits in advance of the hectic work week, or say “no” to a few invites to avoid being overscheduled.
6. Accept — It’s OK to not be OK. Give yourself time to process your emotions, then do your best to move past them. Let’s say a taxi driver blew past you or your partner snapped at you. Take a moment to feel the frustration, then a few deep breaths and focus on letting it go when you’re ready.
7. Change — Take stock of what stresses you and why. Could you do something differently? If so, make a plan and follow through.
8. Communicate — The people closest to you may not realize how overwhelmed you feel. Opening up can help them understand you need support and may also help break unhelpful patterns. It could be something simple like asking your roommate to clean and put away their dishes, so it’s one less thing weighing on you.
9. Practice — It’s natural to feel stressed out, anxious or irritable from time to time. Give yourself the same respect and patience you give others. And take care of yourself: Choose nutritious foods, get restful sleep, be active and take some “me” time to do what you enjoy most. Self-care is key to your overall health and well-being.

Help is just a call away

Sometimes, it can help to talk to someone who knows what you are going through. MnFIRE provides confidential mental health resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program – including counseling visits and peer support – to Minnesota firefighters and their families. These services are available at no cost to active Minnesota firefighters and their families. Get connected by calling our 24-hour helpline at 888-784-6634.

Sources

HealthHub. Your guide to stress management. Accessed November 15, 2022.

Mayo Clinic. Stress relievers: Tips to tame stress. August 3, 2023.

Mental Health Foundation. How to manage and reduce stress. Accessed January 22, 2025.

Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. Manage stress. August 20, 2024.

Contributed by MnFIRE partner, Optum

Most of us are aware of how “triggers” can bring negative emotions and feelings inside us. But do you know what your “glimmers” are? That is, the fleeting moments that give you a sense of calm, peace and joy?

Both manifest physically in your body and affect your mental well-being.

Triggers send a warning of a potential danger to your nervous system. Depending on the threat, you may react with an urge to fight the danger, flee from it, freeze in the face of it or do something to pacify it. This reaction is commonly referred to as the fight, flight, freeze and fawn response. During these times, you feel heightened emotional and physical stress. Too much stress can lead to mental and physical health concerns, such as depression, anxiety, digestive issues and heart problems.

On the other hand, glimmers signal your parasympathetic nervous system, giving you a feeling of safety, calm and connection. When you feel good, your parasympathetic nervous system turns on and tells your nervous system to calm down. So, instead of fight, flight, freeze or fawn, you experience calm, peace and happiness. Glimmers can be anything from the smell and taste of your favorite comfort food, to the sound of your best friend’s laughter, watching squirrels play, the feel of your cool pillow after you flip it over, or whatever else gives you a sense of joy.

Catching glimmers

We are naturally wired to be aware of danger, especially in the fire service. It’s part of our safety defense mechanism and survival instinct. But we can train ourselves to look for these natural “glimmer” stress reducers that give us joy and comfort. While these moments may be brief, they add up. When you practice savoring them, you build up a reservoir of calm and hope that helps steady your nerves in stressful times.

• Think about what gives you a sense of joy, calm or helps you relax, so you are prepared to recognize the glimmers you experience.
• Many of us spend time thinking about the past or planning the future. Practice being present in the moment, so you are aware when a glimmer happens.
• When you spot a glimmer, relish the sensations you feel, knowing it will likely pass quickly.
• Each day, take time to reflect on the glimmers you encountered. Consider capturing them in a glimmer journal for future reference.
• Swap glimmer stories with someone you care about to build your bond.

No-cost mental health support

For personalized emotional and mental health support, MnFIRE provides confidential resources funded by the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program (HHAP)  – including counseling visits and peer support – to Minnesota firefighters and their families. These MnFIRE program services target the unique needs of fire service members and are available at no cost. Call 888-784-6634 or click here to learn more and get help.

Sources

Australian Medical Association. Glimmers for mental health. Aug. 19, 2023.

Calm. Glimmers: What they are, why they matter, and 5 ways to find them. Accessed Oct. 18, 2024.

Neurodiversity Education Academy. Know your glimmers. March 26, 2023.

World Experience Organization. The power of glimmers: Designing for psychological safety. Accessed Oct. 18, 2024.

When Jeff Rosener walked out the door after meeting with a mental health counselor for the first time, he didn’t know if the planned two-times-per-week therapy schedule was going to help.

“To be honest, I was skeptical,” said Rosener, a captain in the Minneapolis Fire Department. “I’m from the Marine Corps, which (has the mentality of) suck it up, just drink like the rest of us, take some Advil and rub some dirt in it.”

But Rosener stuck to the schedule and quickly realized how much his life – both personally and professionally – benefited from reaching out for help. Rosener’s sessions were made possible by the MnFIRE Assistance Program (MAP), which offers free, confidential help for Minnesota firefighters and their families 24/7 with emotional health, stress and more. The MAP is part of the Hometown Heroes Assistance Program (HHAP), funded by a $4 million annual appropriation from the state.

As part of these no-cost benefits, every Minnesota firefighter and their family members can access up to five counseling visits per issue per year, with additional support ensured as needed, with specialized mental health professionals who have been trained to address the unique experiences of the fire service.

Earlier in 2024, Rosener hit a low point in many of his relationships, especially with his wife and their five kids, ages 13 to 2. One evening that spring, his wife asked to separate.

“I didn’t sleep at all that night and then went to work the next morning,” said Rosener, who has been in the fire service since 2010. “I said to my chief, ‘I need some help.’ I didn’t know if I needed to call a divorce lawyer or a therapist, but I was in a bad way.”

The Minneapolis Fire Chief immediately took action, keeping Rosener off the truck and connecting him with the department’s MnFIRE liaison. While Rosener had heard of MnFIRE and had seen a poster up in the fire station, he didn’t realize all the benefits available to him as an active firefighter. This was the first time Rosener received support from MnFIRE.

“Within two hours of me asking for help, I was in the office talking to my mental health provider, Melinda,” Rosener said. “It wasn’t crisis intervention; it was just me saying I need to save my marriage. That’s how it all started.”

During that first meeting, Rosener and his provider established a plan of care, including therapy sessions twice a week and taking six months off firefighting duty.

“The MnFIRE liaison told me not to worry about sick time and just focus on myself and my family,” Rosener said. “I felt 1,000% supported.”

Rosener’s therapy sessions used a combination of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy and acceleration resolution therapy.

“Once I started it, I started immediately unpacking some of the trauma, he said. “It was explained to me that it’s just like a physical injury – how your brain takes days to even process what we see before we can even make sense of it. It really opened my eyes.”

Rosener also learned tools – like grounding, changing body chemistry and changing his physical environment – to help him cope with everyday life.

“When I feel anger coming on, I recognize it and use these tools before seeing red,” Rosener said.

For example, when Rosener starts to get agitated, he will take a break and go to his garage to organize his tools or take the dog for a walk to calm himself down.

Along with tools to cope, therapy has also given Rosener a new perspective on life.

“I realized I am very lucky to have the greatest job in the world, but no matter what, my family comes first,” he said. “I won’t miss another important day. I want to be there for those memories.”

Ten months after his initial outreach for help, Rosener said he and his family are together and doing a lot better, thanks to therapy sessions through MnFIRE and doing the work to make a change. Rosener was also able to return to full duty without restrictions thanks to the help he received through MnFIRE.

“To ask for help was a big deal for me,” he said. “I’m glad I did it, my family is glad I did it. But it’s always going to be a work in process. Having those tools is a great asset.”

His peers in the fire service have also been supportive of Rosener’s road to recovery. As more people in his profession talk about mental health support, Rosener hopes getting help when needed becomes the norm. He knows both sides as a skeptic turned believer in therapy.

“The stigma of suck it up and the perceived weakness needs to die before more of us (in the fire service) do,” Rosener said.

Confidential help is available any time for any Minnesota firefighter and their family through the MnFIRE Assistance Program. For more details or for help, call 888-784-6634 or click here.